Becoming A Pirate
by CTR69
Summary: A young fiancé is not afraid to get (her hands) wet and dirty, when a privateer offers her a deal she cannot refuse. (Written for 'Talk like a pirate day' challenge. AU, mostly Shenny, some Lamy)


It was a weird sight to behold. A flimsy little vessel was slowly approaching a picturesque port at sunset. Onboard, a lone Captain, struggling and cursing to keep his ship afloat. Everybody in the port noticed the crippled vessel dragging towards land. Not something you see everyday.

"Feckin' old pile 'o shite! That bilge rat Wolowitz sellin' me this, I shall cut 'is throat fer this insult!" He was throwing out buckets full of water with fury.

A trader clearly conned him into buying this poor vessel for good money, he will deal with that rat later. First, a drink and sleepover in Pasadena, English port somewhere in the Caribbean.

He barely escaped the ship in the first pier, before it completely sunk to the bottom, mere seconds later.

"Greetings, good Sire. I need your name and the ship, overnight berth costs one pound." A polite Englishman requested information from the newly arrived guest.

"Me name be Cooper. Name 'o the ship, ye say..." They both looked back at the top of the mast sticking out of the water.

"Shamy. Matey, me gift ya three pounds, she be not worth more."

"Excellent, welcome to Port Pasadena, sire."

"Aye."

Finally on dry land, Cooper emptied his black boots of water and shook out his soaked brown coat.

It's been a rough day, he was desperate for some rum down his throat. It wasn't long till he found the right place.

"Bernie's Lounge."

City's tavern was a cosy little place. Dimly lit place, band playing in the background and various people chatting, drinking and enjoying their evening. Pasadena was a rather free place. It was under a British rule, but the city attracted all kinds of people from many different settlements. Pirates, merchants, royalty, businessmen, explorers, adventurers all chatting in different languages and dialects. All looking for information, trading, planning,... Finding their ways to riches.

"Ahoy! A pint 'o grog ove' here." Cooper seated the free stool at the bar.

"Coming up. Rough day at the sea?" Petite barkeep greeted the stranger. Fine looking lady, really something to rest your eyes on.

"Aye, ye have no ide'. Me ship fell apart, barely made it here alive."

He took down a drink as soon as she gave him the cup. "Ohh, much better now. So, wha' be goin' on 'round this joint?"

"There's a planned ceremony for the commodore and his fiancé tomorrow. Everyone around town is so excited! They are such a lovely couple."

"A royal weddin', ey?" Good opportunity, less guards around town to cause him trouble.

Cooper scanned around the tavern, hoping to find a familiar face or hear an interesting conversation. During his life of free enterprise, he met a lot of folks and quickly learned other spoken languages around the Caribbean. A skill very few possessed, it served him very well. Many sought and paid him good money for information. He possessed knowledge about everything from seamanship, trading, laws, naval tactics, weapons, fighting, sword making,... He wanted to know it all, this was his reason to live.

Suddenly, a young woman burst into the tavern, crying her eyes out and settled into the darkest corner of the place. The locals all knew who she was, but Cooper never saw such a beautiful woman before. She was wearing a long white dress, her long blonde hair fell over her face as she leaned over the table. An upper class aristocrat lady, unhappy with her life.

He has seen a fair share of those. But this one stole his heart, the moment he laid his eyes upon her. All it took was a brief eye contact, as she stormed past him.

The barkeep quickly made her way to her friend in a need of comfort.

"Hey Penny, how you be holding up?" She brought her a hot cup of tea.

"Thank you, Bernie. Oh, Leonard and I just had a huge fight again. He just can't remain faithful to me! All I heard about him in the last few days... I have had it with him!"

"Penny, you will live a good and safe life with him. He loves you and will always protect you."

"I don't think he does. I can't live like that. I feel like he owns me, like some sort of trophy. Life in a golden cage? I can't go with it. I broke the engagement. It's over." She cried onto the shoulder of her best friend.

"Oh, poor dear."

Five Royal Navy officers entered the tavern couple of minutes later. Almost hidden in the middle, a small man in a decorated uniform, commodore insignia. They all approached the two women sitting behind the table.

"Penny, please. Stop this nonsense and come back with me." Commodore was calm at first.

"I told you, Leonard. It's over." She sniffed and looked at him with tears on her cheeks.

"We belong together, Penny! I'll explain everything. Now get your arse back into the mansion, the ceremony is tomorrow!" He grabbed her arm and tried to pull her from the table.

"No! Let me go!"

"Oy! Ye'll not havin' any yappin' here. Darling dumped ya, now leave 'er be." Everything went quiet as the Captain just made a threat to a group of officers.

"You stay out of this, pirate scum. This is none of your business." Leonard warned him. But Cooper got up from the stool, approached the small commodore and looked down onto him.

"Look, lad." he drew his weapon. "Ye leave the lady be, or I shall gut ya right here. Savvy?" He looked Leonard right in the eyes and pressed the cocked pistol onto his stomach.

"How dare you threaten me, pirate. Guards! Avast!"

Officers drew their swords and took a stand around Cooper. People in the crowd were also pulling out their cutlasses and pistols. Everyone had their weapon drawn, ready for a fight.

"Hey!" Bartender stepped on the bar counter and yelled in high pitched voice, before things got out of hand. "Leonard, get your goons out of here! Penny doesn't want to be with you! It's over. Now get the hell out of my lounge!" Bernie pointed her arm towards the door. She was small, but her fighting spirit could handle the rough and drunken crowds with ease. She was proud of her place and she intended to keep it intact.

"This is not over, Penny. We will discuss these matters tomorrow, in private."

Commodore Leonard left bittered, with his guards following him. He will not allow her ruin his wedding day. Visitors quickly resumed their conversation and situation went back to normal evening banter and music. Penny started to breathe again.

"I have never seen such bravery. What is your name, stranger?" Penny was stunned with bold action of this man, willing to risk his life for her.

"Name's Cooper, love." He looked at her with his ocean blue eyes, taking her breath away. Penny felt the blush and butterflies forming in her stomach.

He sat down next to her, this was his chance. Bernie brought them a round of ale. She wanted to comfort Penny, but she also had a tavern to run. She knew Penny will be in good hands with him. He might be a pirate, but he has good in heart.

"Thank you."

"A Royal fiancé named Penny, ey?"

"Ex fiancé. And you? A pirate? Oh, I cannot believe I am having this conversation with a pirate..."

"Nay, dear. Think of me as an adventurer. Me seek and trade knowledge all over Caribbean. Although me ship sunk on me today. Have to get me find a new one tomorrow."

A ship! She knew just the one for them to travel the high seas.

"A ship, you say. I can give you the ship, if you take me with you. I cannot stay here. Not after today."

"Love, I'll show ye places ya never seen or been to before." He stared deep into her sparkling green eyes and reached over to comb a strand of hair behind her ear. Her cheeks were blushed, her heart was racing. She was lost in his charming eyes and smile.

"Deal."

"Aye! So what kind of sloop ya offer?"

"Oh you'll love it. Pride of the Pasadena fleet. Carrack class, three masts, thirty two guns. She's Leonard's personal favourite, I believe he loves that ship more than me. He even named her after us. Le Phénix, can you believe it?" They both chuckled.

"Lee Phénix. Noice, I like it." He let her continue.

Cooper was getting turned on by her tech-speak, when she was describing the ship in great detail. She described him the layout and her plan to get onboard and take over.

It was not possible for a civilian to gain such detailed information about a military vessel. No wonder the commodore was so fond of her. Cooper knew this woman is the one for him. Together they'll be invincible.

Their conversation turned in different directions and went on for hours, Penny was intrigued by this man. He was living the life the way she always wanted to. Free of royal protocols, rules and Leonard. He was describing his adventures, but she didn't pay much attention. She was still lost in his eyes.

"Hey guys, sorry to interrupt. We're about to close." All the guests already left, only Cooper and Penny remained in. They didn't notice how the time flew by.

"Bernie, I've decided. I'm leaving this place with Captain Cooper tomorrow morning. We're taking the Phoenix."

Bernie chuckled. "Ouch! Leonard will be pretty pissed when he finds out. Well, good for you. I see you found your true happiness. I've never seen you so bedazzled over a man before."

"Bernie..." Penny felt slightly embarrassed.

"Me lady and me would like to spend the night here, ye offer any rooms upstairs?"

"It's all yours. On the house. Penny deserves better life and I can tell you'll give that to her." Bernie handed over the key with a smile on her face.

Cooper took Penny to their room. As soon as the door closed, they jumped into the embrace and fell onto the bed, madly kissing each other.

"My love, where have you been all this time?"

"Trapped on this island. Waiting for the right man to rescue me."

Clothes flew away from their bodies as the built up passion they had for each other, burned stronger and stronger. It was the most beautiful and natural love they experienced. Cooper pleased her like no other lover she had before. His tongue and fingers brought her to heavenly pleasures time and time again. She couldn't believe such pleasure is even possible.

She deserved all of his intricate attention to every inch of her gorgeous body. Penny in his eyes was the most beautiful and passionate woman in the world. He was willing die for her.

She became his that night. With a scream and fingernails dug into his back, she ended her old life and began a new one.

There was no turning back now.

She woke up the next morning with his blue eyes already looking over her. Cooper watched her sleep. She was so beautiful, glowing in the morning sun like a chest full of booty.

"Mornin', me beauty." He gave her a kiss on the lips.

"Hey…" She smiled back at him, still sleepy. "I've had such a wonderful time last night. You were incredible." She purred.

"We're just gettin' started, Penny love. The whole Caribbean sea awaits us." He got up and stared at the Pasadena harbour from their room. Penny came closer and leaned onto his shoulder. She could only imagine the adventures he described to her yesterday, now those dreams will become reality.

"I love you so much, me Cap'n." She confessed in a moment of tranquility. The view, the morning breeze, smell of the ocean, the man of her dreams by her side.

"Love ye too, me dear Penny." He kissed her forehead in gratitude. They enjoyed this perfect moment together.

"Come, let's grab that ship I promised you. See the one by the third pier? That's her. That's Le Phénix." She pronounced the name in French accent.

"Aye, she's as beautiful as yerself, darlin'." Penny blushed again.

Bernie brought them new clothes and weapons she could spare. Cooper put on a new pair of pants, the old ones were all torn already. New ones were pure black and fitted him very well. A bit tight in places for his taste, but both Bernie and Penny loved them. Next came a black long-sleeved shirt made of silk. It was all coming together.

He checked and holstered his weapons. Two beautiful flintlocks, his cutlass and a dagger strapped to his right ankle.

With his all-black outfit under his brown coat, he turned out into a devilishly handsome pirate. Both girls eyed the tall man in front of them.

"Oh, my..." Penny gasped in surprise. "Here, try this." She put the final touch on his head.

"Penny, I told ya. I be _not_ a pirate."

Penny put on some ordinary clothes, to better blend in with the crowd. She somehow still managed to look incredibly hot in them knee-high boots, black pants and olive green shirt.

"Ya know how to use a sword? I can't let ya onboard, if ya don't know how to fight."

"I got plenty of time to learn."

"Good, now show me yer skills." Cooper was making sure she was fit for a life of danger.

He threw her a sword and charged at her. She quickly gained ground and repelled his initial attack. She started to enjoy this.

"Come on, Cooper, is that all you got!?" She was teasing him, easily defending herself.

"Oh, now yer just asking for trouble, missy." He stepped up, aggressively trying to topple her. Their swords were clashing in the room, made their way to the hallway and down to the bar area.

It quickly turned from an innocent training into a serious fight. Sharp blades were hitting each other hard, any mistake could end with injury or worse. They were fighting with the same passion as they were making love. None of them wanted to surrender. Bernie had to step in again.

"Guys, stop this!"

Cooper looked at Bernie for a moment and hesitated. Penny took advantage of this and suddenly threw him down on the ground. She straddled him, grabbed his wrists and pushed them behind his head. Once she was in control, she slowly lowered herself in for a long, passionate kiss.

"Mwa! So, Captain Cooper. Did I pass the test?" He was left speechless.

"Umm..."

"I'll take that as a yes." She smiled and got on her feet again. She extended her arm and pulled him up. They were ready to leave through the back door. Leonards men were already searching for her.

"Thanks for everything, Bernie. I wish you could come with me."

"Ah, don't mention it. We'll see each other again. Have a great life with the Captain. And you!" She pointed her finger at Cooper. "You take good care of my friend. I don't want to see and fix her broken heart again, mister!" Bernie was acting all bossy again.

"Aye, ma'am. Worry not, me darling's in good hands." He hugged and kissed Penny once more.

They left the tavern and headed to the port to get their ship. They kept hiding from guards patrolling the streets of Pasadena, ordered to find his fiancé.

* * *

Leonard was angry and broken. He was sitting behind his desk, thinking out loud on how to get her back. He knew Penny ran away with that pirate, who defended her yesterday. He was determined to hunt that pirate and rescue Penny from his clutches. The thought his beautiful Penny could become a whore in some stinkin' pirate joint, made him sick. He will bring her back and she will forever remain grateful and loyal to him.

"Why the _hell_ did she do it!?" Leonard hit the desk with his fist. He tried to understand how she slipped from his grasp. "I've done everything for her! I gave her everything!" He sighted on the brink of tears. "God, I miss her so much..."

"Shhhh… Everything will be alright. Relax… Breathe in..." A woman behind him spoken in a deep, soft voice. A pair of fingers massaged his temples to help him relax.

"This isn't working, Amy. I'm still stressed."

"You'll find them. You will get your promotion, one way or another. Once you're the commander of the fleet, there's no stopping us."

" _Us_? What are you talking about?" He turned around and looked up at her.

"Oh! I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?" She giggled. "I meant _you_ 'll be unstoppable." She grinned with evil smile.

"Forget it! I'm doing this for myself. And Penny."

"Penny, Penny, Penny. Can you _please_ stop talking about her for one minute!? What does she have that I don't, Leonard!? That wench doesn't even love you!" Leonard got up and slapped Amy hard across her cheek.

"How _dare_ you..." Tears filled her eyes and she began to cry. "I'm… I'm sorry Amy, please don't cry. It's just… I loved her _so_ much." He hugged and consoled her. "You say it's time for me to let her go?" He looked into her eyes.

"Mhm..." She nodded with teary cheeks, sobbing. "She's gone, Leonard."

"She told me it's over. So be it. She has aided a pirate, I'll declare a bounty and she's to be returned alive to Pasadena for a trial."

"She broke your heart. You must punish her, Leonard." Amy grinned with satisfaction behind his back as they hold the hug. All was going as planned.

"Amy?" He took a step back and looked into her eyes again.

"Yes, Leonard?"

"Do _you_ love me?"

"With all my heart." She put on her fake smile. Leonard bought it.

* * *

Cooper and Penny sneaked into the port and observed the ship from under the pier.

"They take her out on a patrol every day. We have to sneak aboard, right before they set sails. Bernie spiced the drinks for the crew, no more than ten men. They'll be easy to handle today."

"Aye. I know the place to pick up our crew. Crazy lads. Skilled 'n' fearless bunch."

"Come, we have to reach the anchor. We can climb it straight onto the deck."

"Ye be brave gal, I give you that."

"I wanted to do this all my life. Together, we can do this." She planted another kiss on his lips.

They sneaked around the bay and approached the ship from the bow in a small rowboat.

They remained out of sight, one one from the pier saw them approaching the ship. Once they reached the anchor rope, Cooper separated two planks in the bottom, just enough to let the water in. The old boat slowly sunk to the bottom.

They climbed the anchor and waited on the outer tip of the bow for the crew to bring the ship in motion.

15 minutes later, the Phoenix was on her way. Sails were extended and the ship was gaining speed, sailing to open waters.

"Ready to spill some blood, love?" Cooper pulled out one pistol and a sharp dagger from his strap.

"Aye." Penny took the weapons with a mean grin on her face. She was becoming a pirate.

Each handled one side of the ship. They moved from bow to stern like ghosts, hiding behind barrels and other covers they could find. No sailor was spared his life. They struck in a complete surprise. The deck crew offered no resistance.

First, they observed their movement like hunters, Cooper quickly noticed the blind spots and their repetition. They approached each man from behind in silence, slit his throat and quietly laid his body down on the deck in cover.

Together they reached the quarter deck and stormed the remaining group of drunken officers around the rudder wheel.

"Surrender the ship, or ye be gone to Davy Jones' Lock with the rest!" Copper pointed his blood-stained cutlass at the captain's neck. Penny took a position behind the quartermaster. She cocked her pistol and aimed his head. Warm blood was dripping from her dagger in left hand.

The remaining crew of four looked down the deck in shock. They realized there was no man left alive, only traces of blood oozed across the planks. Captain almost fainted, he has never seen such a swift and effective act of cruelty before.

"We surrender! Please, have mercy!" He was shocked and terrified. These two were no ordinary pirates.

"We be sparing yer lives! Row back to the commodore Hofstadter and deliver him news. The Phoenix now belongs to Cap'n Cooper and me. Tell him what happens to those who cross our way." Penny approached the quartermaster and delivered the threat in a terrifying tone. With streaks of blood on her cheeks, it sent the chills down their spines. She topped it by wiping her blade across his neck to make her point.

Cooper threw her the ropes to bind the crew together. She holstered the pistol and put the dagger between her teeth as she roped their hands tightly behind their back.

"You crazy wench! Commodore will have you hanged for this atrocity!"

"Oh, sweetie, he has to catch us first." She glided her hand across captains rough cheek and looked deep into his eyes. He was mesmerised by her wickedness, beauty and gentle voice. To him, Penny became the closest thing to a Siren.

The spared crew rowed back to Pasadena to deliver the terrible news to the commodore. The couple observed the boat, rowing fast back to port.

"They won't stop hunting us, will they?"

"All part of the adventure, me Penny."

Cooper turned back to Penny and wiped the dried blood off her cheeks. They both smiled and shared a victory kiss. She had him all fired up now, Cooper suddenly pressed her hard against the rudder wheel and took her right there on the quarterdeck. Her clothes flew from her body in mere seconds. She wrapped her long legs around him and braced herself on the wooden handles. Cooper grabbed her by the waist and keep thrusting into her luscious body.

Minutes later, he turned her around. She hugged the rudder wheel, trying to hold herself upwards as her knees buckled and her legs went numb. The way he treated her with his long fingers, was unlike anything she felt before. She could only close her eyes and moan in pleasure, letting this amazing sensation to take over.

Cooper took her again in this position, before they collapsed together on the wooden deck.

The blood and violence brought up the most powerful emotions and desires in them. All of it lead to the most intense and satisfying experience yet, causing her to almost pass out on the last climax. Cooper was getting better and better with her.

Penny laid tired on the deck, feeling the salty breeze on her naked skin. Her mind was going over everything that happened in these few days.

For a moment, it scared her. What kind of person she became? They both became? Do they have to keep on killing, to achieve even more powerful and satisfying emotions?

To hell with all of it, she has found her way of life. Together with Cooper, she will rule and enjoy the Caribbean seas to the fullest and nothing will stand in her way.

They have finally become masters of their lives.

She got up and hugged the Captain at the helm. They both stared into the endless ocean and exciting future ahead.

* * *

Back in Pasadena, commodore Hofstadter was furious of this outcome. His heart was crushed, but mind determined to handle the matters. His requests were soon approved by the Crown. Days later, orders for their execution came from the top of the Royal Navy.

Penny has gone rogue, with all the skills and knowledge. She has become an enemy of the Crown. There's no way they will allow him to be with her. Delivering the orders for her execution was the hardest thing he ever had to do in his life. The last bit of hope was now finally gone.

But only this way, he will get his promotion into Admiralty. He craved and waited so long for this rank. Amy stood by his side at all times, encouraging him and offering him support.

"With Penny gone, you will take command of the fleet." She kissed him at the end of each sentence. "The Crown will be pleased…." "I will be pleased…." "And our lives will be complete."

"Thank you, Amy."

Leonard and Amy looked down from their mansion into the busy bay area. Mighty ships of the line were gathering to revenge the cold blooded murder of six British sailors.

Amy was very proud of her own accomplishment. Breaking the engagement with lies and false rumors was her greatest achievement yet. Soon, she will rule all the islands with the might of the Royal Navy at her disposal. Leonard will do anything for her.

But in the back of her mind, a tiny worm of doubt came to be. She knew very well, who Captain Sheldon Lee Cooper is and what he is capable of. He wasn't supposed to survive that trip to Pasadena! "Wolowitz, you incapable fool." She thought to herself. If Cooper doesn't waste him, she'll kill him herself.

Now joined with her former best friend, there's no telling how much chaos this killer couple and their crew will bring to the Caribbean. Suddenly, the breakup didn't seem such a good idea anymore…

THE END


End file.
